How many scarves could one Minneapolis-ian wear?

Let's start off with some basic facts about myself:

1.) I am no fashionista. I rock my dad's old Navy coats, glasses decked out in fake gems, and like to pair way too big jeans with expensive jewelry.
2.) I drink enough Red Jak within a month that I could probably keep the whole company afloat if it ever threatened to go under.
3.) I spend way too much time on DeviantArt
4.) I'm ghetto poor.
5.) I lack any understanding of hip language. On the plus side, I'm not afraid to whip out a verbal LULZ.
6.) I listen to Avenged Sevenfold's Beast and the Harlot way too much. I play it on Guitar Hero II too much to be healthy.
7.) I smoke way more than I should.
8.) I spend my time reading LICD and trying to perfect my future Raptor Boots.
9) I'm a terrible writer. But I'm like the little engine that could. I JUST KEEP GOING.
10.) Also, I abuse the caps lock button.
11.) I'm too mean to die. Its a fact.
12.) I enjoy NCIS.
13.) I have a secret love for boxed wine.
15.) This is also a fact: If I could, I would spend $1200 on a pair of Louboutin boots.

To sum it up, I am the last person who should judge anyone.

Yet I have to ask: How many scarves does one person find necessary?

Its a phenomenon of sorts. Hit Lyndale Ave. and you hit the "artsy" part of the grand old state Minnesota. And by artsy, I mean everyone lives in charming duplexes. Everyone also carries a sketchbook or tablet with them, wears black framed glasses, berets that even Jamie Hyneman wouldn't touch, full length black peacoats, and the best...

At least three scarves. Most also walk into the street with a vacant/pensive expression on their faces. It must be some sort of requirement to live in a place such as that.

Now honestly. When you leave your house, wouldn't you think, "My goodness, its about fifty degrees out. The snow is melting and the birds are singing. Perhaps four different colored brand-new-but-attempting-to-be-vintage scarves would be a bit redundant"? I would. In fact, I don't even wear one scarve unless I feel that it could be the day a vampire jumps me or I'm worried that not protecting my something-or-another artery (look, people anatomy escapes me...I won't apologize for it) will result in my blood turning to sludge. Why on earth would you need three, four, or dare I say, FIVE scarves? Eventually you stop looking bohemie. Eventually you just start looking like the poor kid from A Christmas Story. Also, when everyone on the block dresses exactly the same everyone looks the same. And pensive expressions don't work. It more closely resembles constipation rather than "I'm a potentially tortured artist, but you don't know so you'd better ask what I'm working so furiously on via my fashionably beaten up artbook".

There. I said it. A person CAN wear too many scarves. I will never live along Lyndale Avenue. I am not ready to give up my mostly buttonless coat, my banged up ghetto cruiser of a Toyota, and I certainly will not stop dancing as I drive to the tune of the Foo Fighter's cover of "Darling Nikki". All those things do not seem to mesh with the expected citizens of Lyndale Ave.